| I.
Our Man in Hanoi Our
Man In HANOI has had a pretty busy couple of months (although
obviously not at the keyboard  )
He, and his good lady friend have taken possession of one
very beautiful, mischievous and fun-loving dog. If you have
not a shred of interest in our furry friends then you might
as well skip to the bottom of this column (as many of you
are no doubt already doing) because for 1 month only this
piece is going to be littered and savaged, nay mauled and
gnawed with dog info, trivia and stomach turning affection.
(In fact even if you do like dogs then you might find it
a bit like listening to your former best friends talking
about their new baby, so perhaps you'd better skip to the
next section as well)
Thomas,
or Tom to his friends of whom he has many (so trusting at
that age aren't they?) came into our life 2 months ago from
way up country near China looking for a family to take care
of him. They couldn't find one so he got me and Aimee.
When
he came to us he was barely of his mother's milk and a country
yokel through and through. The day he arrived was his first
day on a lead, first day on a bus, first day on motorbike,
(Yeah it's really not so uncommon for the quadrupeds to
travel on two wheels over here. Not everyone can afford
a car and gold Tiaras don't you know) first day seeing a
big city and his first night without his mother. YOU imagine
doing all that in one day, especially in a city where you're
just as likely to be taken to the local restaurant as to
a nice loving family….and I don't mean a restaurant where
they serve dogs' food, rather one where they serve dog!
Apparently they make excellent snacks for when you're out
on the piss / the razz or what has in times past on one
island been called a racket. Drinking food anyway. (Tom
if you're reading this, its just a joke. Nobody eats dogs,
not in Nam, The P.I, Thailand, nowhere, ok mate?)
From
day zero he literally turned our live's upside down and
inside out. I do believe I have an inkling of what all you
parents go through and I just don't know how you do it.
You people must be supermen and women and you seem to be
everywhere. Can it really be harder than a dog?
Standing
about 2-foot tall when he manages to keep at least 3 of
his feet on the ground he's ¼ Vietnamese Native breed,
¼ German Shepard, ¼ Japanese something or
other and ¼ some kind of Terrier. (He also seems
to be about 100% stupid.) In a perfect world I suppose he
would have inherited a patriotic resilient heart and fiercesome
jungle fighting skills from his Vietnamese blood (well he
can dig a few holes.). A strong sense of discipline from
the German Shepherd and the ability to always get us a sun
lounger on the beach. (I used to think this was a stupid
stereotype and kind of a weak joke, but its not. You do
do it German readers and you KNOW its true!. I've seen it
with mien own eyes!) Anyway from the terrier bit I suppose
you'd expect some tenacity and from the Japanese….I don't
know…perhaps how to produce high quality entertainment systems?
Or make a cup of tea really slowly? However all we've discovered
so far, and it is a very useful skill to have in this part
of the country I'm sure you'll agree, is that he has the
uncanny ability to catch cockroaches and pin them to the
ground until Aimee can catch them in a plastic bag…show
me a baby that can do that! Not that our house is riddled
with cockroaches I'll have you know, but the occasional
one does manage to evade our elaborate security system (namely
roach spray that I'm sure would not be permitted under any
EEC laws such is its power to dissolve living tissue)
So
it's not much but at least he's learning a trade……..he chased
rats for a while until they were poisoned….saw one walking
in HIS garden ran up to it like a greyhound (or maybe terrier)
and then got really confused when it didn't do its usual,
turn enormous tail and run thing. Instead it just sort of
stood there dazed by the sun. Probably blinded and in incredible
pain. This left Thomas with the tricky question of what
to do when they don't run. The answer apparently is to look
at your owner with sad eyes and squeak in a sad confused
manner. It was a little like the Tom and Jerry cartoon when
Tom decides to leave, Jerry gets very upset and so on…Thomas
still runs outside for a hopeful look when you call "RATS"
but you can tell that he knows deep down that they've gone
somewhere else, so as mentioned before he's stalking smaller
prey to earn his keep….
The
first week he arrived he caught a potentially deadly virus
but luckily managed to pull through due to no small thanks
to the judicious hands of our Vet, Mr. Bau. Believe me finding
a small animal vet in Vietnam is not easy (just try looking
up Hanoi vet on the net) and I was ringing everywhere, hospitals,
animal departments etc. in my desperation for help. Perhaps
the most annoying of my phone calls was to the WWF (World
Wildlife Foundation/fund?). Now I know these people are
out saving pandas and rescuing cobras from the jaws of hungry
Chinese but did they really not know of ONE Vet in the whole
of Hanoi? Plus I know Pandas are cute but why should say
a cobra get preferential treatment over a dog. There's no
doubting who's cuter there and everyone knows it's the cute
who survive in the animal kingdom these days.
Three
horned toad on brink of extinction; Yawn
Fluffy
thing with big eyes and big ears needs more forest; organize
a Telefon, kick out local villagers and launch major advertising
campaign costing millions and involving at least one celebrity.
If
anyone from the W.W.F can explain why the Hanoi branch don't
have the phone no. of a common or garden vet please let
us know and I'll print your reply. (You can also put some
perspective on my childish comments regarding toads and
Ewoks)
So
there was the virus (which actually took his brother, another
yokel down from the city and owned by friends away to meet
his maker) then there's the fleas, and the trouble at bed
time, and the training, and the barking at anything that
comes in HIS street, the mites, the jabs (I tell you for
a cross-breed or what some less charitable people would
call a mongrel, he is not cheap) the constant demands for
attention, the walks, the toilet training. Honestly in the
first month it felt like we hadn't slept a wink. Luckily
now we are beginning to reap the benefits of all the initial
hard work and vet visits etc and have a loving, fun, healthy,
semi-obedient animal…...that can catch cockroaches. Anyway
that's been my life recently I'm ashamed to say. I'll write
something more interesting next month I promise and the
next section is about the Perhentians, much more in keeping
with the name of this Ezine! The Perhentians are islands
by the way not animals on the verge of extinction
III.
Island Travel - The Perhentians, Malaysia
| Recommended
Hotel |
 |
Perhentian
Island Resort - is nestled on a secluded
white sandy beach. The resort is equipped with all the
comforts of modern amenities. Diving and snorkeling
activities can be arranged from this resort. |
The
Perhentian islands
The
Perhentian islands really are something special and offer
almost everything you could want from a cheap get away
from it all island-holiday. First of course there are
the beaches, superb by any standards and thankfully free
of any of the plastic rubbish that all too often typifies
S.E Asian beaches. The Perhentians' powdery white sand
beaches (the powdery white sand stuff is 100% true but
still a clichéd bit of prose I know. Truth is,
I'm really running out of ways to describe tropical beaches
which have powdery white sand, shallow warm clear waters
and are lined with towering palm trees swaying gently
in the breeze. Please help me freshen up my newsletter
by sending any alternative suggestions which don't include
the above words to editor@asiahotelbookings.net You will
be warmly acknowledged in print!) are also the gateway
to some of the best snorkeling and diving to be had, on
coral that is as yet surprisingly unspoiled by tourism.
As well as the thousands of common fish that congregate
near coral and being common doesn't make them any less
beautiful or their colors any less striking, it's not
uncommon to see turtles, barracuda and most appealingly
of all perhaps, black tipped reef sharks. The sharks are
probably a first for most people who come to the islands
but so commonplace are they here that they are thought
quite mundane by locals and indeed any who's swum the
waters more than 3 or 4 times. In fact the relatively
small impact that tourism has made on the aquatic life
is mirrored in most other aspects of the islands. There
are no high rise hotels; accommodation is generally excellent
value for money (as long as you don't want the Hilton);
very few roads pass through the dense jungle interior
(boat is the preferred methord of travel); and the absence
of any discos or karaoke means that nights are quiet on
both of the main islands. These two islands are named
Besar and Kecil, big and small island respectively.
So
these islands must be pretty difficult to get to right?
Probably a 6 day trip by canoe into the middle of the
pacific where you're greeted by tribes-people who still
think of you as long pigs. Well no actually.. The Perhentian
islands which are a small cluster of islands of Malaysia's
East coast near the Thai border are surprisingly accessible,
just a one hour boat trip from the main land. Boats leave
from Kuala Besut, which in turn is about two hours by
bus from Kota Baru (quite an interesting little town itself),
2 ½ hours from Kuala Terengganu, or 12 hours from
the capital, Kuala Lumpur.
So
what's the catch?, I hear you ask….Well unfortunately,
due to the annual monsoon, the islands are virtually inaccessible
from November to January. That's number one. You should
also book ahead if you want to be sure of getting a bed
for the night. As anyone who's done it can attest to,
sleeping on the beach is nowhere near as much fun as it
sounds! That's number two. I'm not sure if number three
can be counted as a down side but the accommodation isn't
the most luxurious in the world. However it's cheap as
chips and as long as your standards aren't too high you
should find somewhere to suit you. The food is good, especially
the seafood of course, but number four on the list is
that you'll find many restaurants, for obvious reasons,
don't serve alcohol. This isn't really much of a problem
as most places don't mind you bringing in your own stuff.
Finally coming in a very weak number five is the fact
that if you're the kind of person who gets bored easily,
then perhaps these islands aren't for you. There isn't
that much to do unless you like the water, the beach,
the jungle and the animals. Nature I think they call it.
For those that do, its heaven.
III.
Asia News
Alive
and Kicking
The BBC tells us that…..A passenger on a Qantas flight
from Melbourne to Wellington found her airline meal looking
up at her earlier this month when her salad contained, as
well as the usual salad ingredients, a live frog. There
are no reports that the passenger, who incidentally was
not French, indulged herself of the 4cm whistling tree frog,
usually found in S.E. Australia not airline food and also
no reports that the frog was actually whistling. That's
just its name. Who says airline food is boring, hey?
Hard
to Find too much Sympathy
A former Australian diplomat, but one who will
be remembered by most for being a convicted pedophile, was
found dead in his Balinese prison cell earlier this month.
Serving a 13 year term which is just one year short of the
maximum sentence for pedophilia in Bali, 52 year old William
Brown was found hanging from a bar in his cell just a couple
of days into his 13 year sentence.
Incidentally 13 years was considered an unusually long sentence
when handed down. I don't think there will be many readers
who think that the courts treated him harshly and personally
I think that when you look at some of the sentences for
other crimes 13 years seems almost lenient. If anyone would
like to comment on this then please send your emails to
editor@asiahotelbookings.net and it will be printed in the
next newsletter if you (and I) wish. The autopsy has yet
to be carried out but it seems a no brainer. Suicide.
Simply
Magic
Efren "The Magician" Reyes, considered
by all but a few crazies to be the greatest 9 ball pool
player of all time won the Taiwan leg of the Asian 9 ball
Tour. Playing shots that most players can only dream about
and often giggling his way round the table so relaxed was
he, Efren was a popular winner warming even a partisan Taiwanese
crowd. Although he is now past his superlative best Efren
remains immensely popular worldwide and has god-like status
in his home country, The Philippines where the next leg
is to be played and in my house where I live…….
Big,
Ugly, Scary, Stomach-Turning Trouble in Paradise
Boracay in the Philippines is a popular beach resort for
Foreigners and Filipinos alike with all the attractions
you'd expect from one of the regions premier beaches. However
all is not completely well there at the moment. Very unfortunately
three Europeans and a Filipino maid were recently found
murdered. Apparently stabbed to death during a robbery,
the police have no suspects as yet although several people
are being questioned.
A nasty story of course, but if you are thinking of holidaying
in, or near Boracay, I don't think it would do to dwell
on it too much (and def not if you are already there). This
area has no history of violent incidents (well I suppose
it does now) and this does seem to be very much an isolated
case. Wouldn't change my holiday plans if I were you.
Wasps
Hit Sri Lanka Tourist Site
I'd never heard of it but according to the BBC
it's famous. Sigiriya, a rock fortress in Sri Lanka has
just been reopened after being taken over by wasps for the
weekend. It wasn't really the wasps fault as just like you
or I would when we were kids, what 10? 20 years ago?, children
had been throwing stones at one of their nests which understandably
pissed them off. Not sure if the Asian wasp is bigger than
the European one but if it is I pity those in the area with
dozens of tourists taken to hospital with swollen limbs.
(But if it's the same size as the one we get in England,
what a bunch of pansies. Its only a bug!) Anyway the monks
were called in and managed to pacify the wasps with lamps(yeah…
lamps) , incense and Buddhist chants. The last bits not
true. The famous area is now safe again. Hurrah. I think
actually I'm just displaying my own ignorance not knowing
the place as the BBC says that hundreds of thousands of
visitors each year visit this World Heritage Site, 150km
north-east of Colombo
III.
Book Review : Quartered Safe out Here by George
Macdonald Fraser
This
is a frank, autobiographical tale of one man fighting for
the Allies in the 17th Black Cat Division towards the end
of the second World war in Burma and a book enjoyed immensely
for several reasons.
Firstly
it's authors honesty, the author makes no secret of his
continued dislike of the Japanese or his support for the
bomb which effectively ended the war but killed so many.
Whether you agree with his sentiments or not, I admired
his candidness on issues he could easily have avoided and
it gave me the sense that the rest of the book would be
in keeping with this honesty i.e. he didn't make it all
up! It was and incidentally, he gives solid, sensible arguments
supporting his opinions on both these sensitive issues and
doesn't come across as some bitter old bigot winding his
days down by spitting vitriol and downing gin. Apropos of
nothing really I just like the quote.
It's also profoundly funny with an authentic feel. George
is a Scotsman fighting in a small division made up of hard
bitten men from Yorkshire. Men given to complaining at every
opportunity and laughing at others misfortune. They are
also however the kind of men that you'd want by your side
when things got a bit rough and mostly the kind of men that
you'd be proud to call friends. They just take a bit of
getting used to. Both their sense of humor and their language,
which Fraser has made no attempt to alter from its original
Lancashire dialect, are understandable by about page thirty
if you're a southern fairy or just not from Britain. "You
may think of Gin and Beer when you're quartered safe back
there" misquotes one of the books most likable characters.
Another
reason this book appealed so much to me was for its historical
merit. Here you have a first hand account of life for a
infantry man during the second world war in the jungles
of Burma. You begin to get an in depth knowledge of the
living conditions, the rules, the weapons, the food and
everything else that made up army life at that time. It's
a very different situation from today, or so the author
argues.(Perhaps through rose colored glasses.)
Another
piece of praise to be placed on this book is that it is
well written. It doesn't give the impression of being heavily
edited yet it retains its sense of humor combined with hard
facts throughout. There's hardly a page in the whole book
that seems out of place or awkward. This is hardly surprising
however for those of you familiar with the Flashman series.
It didn't strike me till about halfway through the book,
but the author is one and the same. It's a very different
kind of book though and really shows his range (luvvy).
If you've read Flashman and liked it try this one. If you
didn't like Flashman, try this for all the reasons given
above and forget about that dastardly coward who always
ends up on top. God I love those Flashman books, perhaps
its time I grew up.
By far the most striking aspect to this book though, and
one which makes it truly great (truly great as in really
good not great as in its going to win the Booker) is the
authors admission that as far as the war as a whole was
going, he just didn't have a clue. He just did his job.
His war was not the last battle that ended Japanese resistance,
but climbing which ever hill he'd been told to, most of
the time not knowing why. This is probably misquoted but
I think it was Kipling who said that "ours is not to
reason why, ours is but to do and die." This (mis)quote
just about sums up Fraser's attitude to the war. Its a highly
personal account of a few men, not a sweeping epic detailing
the fall of the Japanese in Asia, and all the more better
for it.
A
fascinating, entertaining read with only the charge of possible
nostalgia to be leveled at it.
VI.
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